VICTORIAN ELECTION 2026 SPECIAL
MARK NICHOLSON
The "Please Explain" Guy Who Forgot to Explain His Conflict of Interest
Actual photo requires ABC press clearance.
Meet Mark Nicholson. He’s a former criminal lawyer, a resident of the inner-city hipster utopia of Abbotsford, and Pauline Hanson’s shiny new hope for the Northern Metropolitan region in Victoria.
But Mark isn't just a candidate. Oh no. He is the creative genius (a term we use with the same loose definition as "edible" at a servo at 3 AM) behind One Nation's animated web series, Please Explain.
1 THE RESUME OF A "MONGREL"
The Law Years
Mark started as a criminal lawyer. He claims this made him tough on crime. We assume it mostly made him realize that arguing with judges is hard, but drawing cartoons of them is much easier and requires less legal precedent.
The Animation Arc
Co-founder of Stepmates Studios in Fitzroy. Because nothing says "man of the working-class outer suburbs" like running an animation boutique down the street from an artisan vegan bakery.
The Pauline Connection
Pauline Hanson famously said she could "see the mongrel in him." We aren't sure if that's a compliment or if she just got him confused with her immigration policy notes, but he proudly wears it as a badge of honor. He writes, produces, and voices the One Nation propaganda—sorry, "satire"—garnering millions of views from people who think South Park is a documentary.
2 THE CIRCULAR ECONOMY OF GRIFT
Let's map out the financial genius of the Mark Nicholson campaign:
- Supporters donate money to One Nation.
- Supporters buy overpriced One Nation rum and stubby coolers.
- One Nation takes that money and pays it to Stepmates Studios (Mark's private business) to make cartoons.
- Mark uses the fame generated by the cartoons (paid for by the party) to become a candidate for the party.
Is it illegal? Probably not.
Is it a massive conflict of interest where a political party is basically just funneling campaign donations into their candidate's business? You bet your arse it is.
3 CONTROVERSIES & COMEDY
"A Super Progressive Movie"
Released on Australia Day 2026, Mark co-wrote this feature-length masterpiece of right-wing grievance. Parliament House literally cancelled a screening because it breached their events policy on causing offense. Mark probably loved that, as it gave him more material to cry about cancel culture.
The Media Ban
When announcing Mark's candidacy, Pauline Hanson banned the ABC and The Guardian from attending. Because if there's one thing a tough-on-crime, "mongrel" candidate who loves free speech needs, it's to be protected from mildly challenging questions by journalists.
The "Australia First" Offshore Mystery
Did Stepmates Studios use foreign workers to animate their "Australia First" cartoons? We couldn't find definitive proof. They are based in Melbourne. However, if they did outsource the tedious tweening to the Philippines while preaching border control, it would be the funniest joke Mark Nicholson ever wrote. We live in hope.
THE GUIDES FOR ARSES VERDICT
"He’s not a politician, he’s a vendor on a retainer."
Mark Nicholson is the logical conclusion of modern politics: when the person making the memes decides to cut out the middleman and run for office himself, all while charging the party for the privilege. He wants to save Victoria from debt, presumably by ensuring all state funds are redirected to his animation studio.