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Guides For Arses

Navigating the absolute worst situations.

Mandatory Legal & Moral Disclaimer

This is a satirical, darkly educational site. We do not endorse the Ku Klux Klan (because we possess functioning brain cells), nor do we endorse Channel 9, One Nation, or bad journalism. This guide is for high schoolers and adults trying to understand media spin without falling asleep. If you cite this page in a history essay, your teacher will probably fail you. You've been warned.

Media Literacy 101

Help, the KKK Likes Me!

A Guide to Guilt-by-Association and Media Shenanigans (Feat. Pauline Hanson)

Published: Today By: The Head Arse

Imagine you’re at a school assembly. The absolute worst kid in school—the one who keyed the principal’s car and bites people—grabs the microphone and announces to the entire gym: "I just want to say, [Your Name] has some really great ideas."

You didn't ask for this. You might not even know this kid. But now, everyone is staring at you. This is the political equivalent of what happened when Australian TV network Channel 9 broadcasted a documentary where a Ku Klux Klan leader decided to randomly fanboy over Australian politician Pauline Hanson.

The Anatomy of a Media Trainwreck

1

The Setup

Channel 9 decides to make a documentary called Trump’s America: The Divided States. They travel to the US to interview extremists because, let's be honest, sensible people calmly discussing tax reform doesn't get good TV ratings. They end up interviewing Thomas Robb, a leader of the Ku Klux Klan (a notorious white supremacist hate group).

2

The Unprompted Shoutout

During the interview, unprompted by the journalist, the KKK guy decides to talk about Australian politics. He praises Pauline Hanson and her One Nation party, calling her stance on immigration "heartening." It is the worst unboxing video of an endorsement in human history.

3

The Broadcast

Channel 9 has a choice in the editing room. Do they cut the random Australian shoutout, or do they air it? They air it. They defend this as "legitimate journalism," claiming they pushed back on his views and that hiding his statement would be sanitizing the news. (And surely, the massive ratings and controversy were just an accidental bonus, right? *wink*)

4

The Outrage

Pauline Hanson goes completely ballistic. She calls the broadcast "absurd and offensive" and accuses the network of sinking to a new low just to smear her party. She has to spend the next news cycle screaming, "I do not like the pointy-ghost-hat racists!"

So, Who is the Arse Here?

As always in politics and media, there's plenty of blame to go around:

  • The KKK Leader: Obviously the biggest arse. Uncontested champion of awful.
  • The Media (Channel 9): They claim they were just "reporting the facts." But right-wing commentators argue this is a classic Guilt-by-Association tactic. The media knows exactly what they are doing when they broadcast a toxic endorsement. It forces the politician to play defense.
  • The Politician (Hanson): While it's unfair to blame someone for who their fans are, critics of Hanson point out that if your political rhetoric on immigration is so extreme that it makes literal white supremacists across the ocean go, "Hey, she gets it," it might be time for some quiet self-reflection.

The Lesson for High Schoolers

Just because someone awful agrees with you, doesn't mean you are them. But if awful people keep agreeing with you... maybe check your math.